Adam Sandler - The Goat Lyrics
[ADAM:] I am a simple goat.
I live on the back of a pick-up truck.
The Old Man tied me here with a 3 ft. rope.
Am I happy?
He don't give a fuck.
I'm gonna beat your head in with the hickory stick!
[ADAM:] Sometimes he uses his fists-a.
He's filled with anger and filled with rage,
and tells me I smell like piss-a.
His drink, Jimmy Beam.
His chaser, a beer.
After that, various alchohols.
That's when the beatings get so severe,
I sleep,
I pray he falls.
Things weren't always this bad.
Why when I was a young talking goat,
the Old Man was just like my dad.
I come from the hills of Europe.
That's where I met the Old Man.
He was lost in the woods,
I gave him directions,
He gave me a tuna can.
Then he stopped in his tracks and he said,
[OLD MAN:] Hey goat!
[ADAM:] Would you like to live with me?
I got a house with a pick-up truck
in a place across D.C.-a.
I said, "sure why not? I got no family. You seem like a nice guy."
So we went off to America,
the home of apple pie.
On the boat the Old Man told me,
I would be a present for his wife.
"A talking goat," he exclaimed,
"She's never seen this in her life!"
I felt so special.
Well, I just couldn't believe it,
after all these years,
I finally had a friend.
He trimmed my beard,
he scraped my hooves,
I prayed it would never end.
But when we got to his house,
there was no wife.
Only a short, short letter.
It said : I'm leaving you for your brother
because he fucks me better.
His eyes filled with tears of sadness.
His heart was filled with grief.
To suit himself he drank a pint of Old Grandad,
and beat me like a side of beef.
I screamed, "send me back to the hills of Europe!"
He just shook his head and said,
[OLD MAN:] Nope!
[ADAM:] No one will ever leave me again,
to make sure,
put on the 3 ft. fucking rope-a.
Present-day I've been on the truck for 51 years.
My only friend is the A.M. radio.
Sometimes the neighborhood children stop by,
but it's always rocks and beer bottles that they throw.
At first they're excited to see a talking goat,
they gather 'round to hear what I have to say.
But I guess sometimes my stories go on too long,
so they leave and giggle,
I need a bidet.
But you know there was a night
that I did get off the truck,
when the Old Man was passed out drunk.
Three neighborhood kids took me to a rock and roll concert.
The kind of music?
Old school funk.
It was the first time I'd been off the truck,
the music made me lose control.
The lead singer asked if we were having fun,
I said, "fucking crank that rock and roll-a!"
The women at the show were beautiful,
as they danced sexily on the soft grass.
One of them even petted my fur.
Fuck me in the goat ass!
Then some long-haired guys grabbed me by the horns
and threw me in the mosh pit-a.
They passed me around and treated me nice
til I nervously sprayed them with shit-a.
Then the music stopped.
And everything was quiet.
And all the rock and rollers started a
fucking goat riot.
[ROCK AND ROLLERS:] Kill the goat!
Kill the goat!
Kill the goat!
Kill the goat!
[ADAM:] They chased me under the bleachers.
They chased me onto the street-a.
They chased me into an alley and said I was dead fucking goat meat-a.
But then I saw a sight,
that I'd never thought I'd see.
The Old Man swinging his hickory stick,
but he wasn't swinging at me.
[OLD MAN:] Fuck you pot smoking turkeys!
Don't you press your luck!
[ADAM:] The long-hairs ran away screaming
as I scrambled onto the truck-a.
When we got home the Old Man said, "goat you broke the sacred law."
[ADAM:] No!
Please!
Sorry!
Shit!
"I'll let it go this time,
but if you leave again,
I'll break your fucking jaw."
Super!
Great!
Okay!
Thank you Old Man for saving my life.
Thank you again and again.
You could have let them barbeque me,
but you acted like a friend.
"I'm not your friend.
I don't even like you.
I'm just not drunk," he said.
To prove his point,
he drank a bottle of grain alchohol,
and beat the fucking shit out of my head.
Ow! Ow! Ow! You're hurting me Old Man.
That night I suffered a concussion,
Deep inside my goat brain.
I still cannot feel my tailbone.
And I'll probably will never walk straight again.
I guess you'd call me,
escape goat.
A punching bag for the Old Man to mock.
Just because his wife left him,
for his brother's abnormaly large cock.
He could've been my buddy.
But instead he's a crazy old fuck.
And once again I go to sleep,
in my eternal home.......
the back of the pick-up truck.
Good night Old Man!
[OLD MAN:] Yeah, good night goat!
Other Lyrics by Artist
- Adam Sandler - The Mayor Of Pussytown
- Adam Sandler - Rescue Animals
- Adam Sandler - Mr. Slo Mo
- Adam Sandler - Uber Driver
- Adam Sandler - Diabetes
- Adam Sandler - Know A Guy
- Adam Sandler - Hula Hoop
- Adam Sandler - Mini-Golf
- Adam Sandler - Wrong
- Adam Sandler - Marriage Mystery
- Adam Sandler - Rake
- Adam Sandler - Everywhere
- Adam Sandler - Books
- Adam Sandler - 4:30
- Adam Sandler - 101
- Adam Sandler - Grandma Died
- Adam Sandler - Shower
- Adam Sandler - Asswipe
Rand Lyrics
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Adam Sandler The Goat Comments
F*** me in the goat ass!
Please make this into a Netflix movie
I don’t know why but I’ve been laughing at that sound the football makes spiraling through the air for like 25 years. It just sounds so funny to me, like it’s a missile.
As much as Adam is annoying, I remember when one of my brothers gave me two of his stand up CDs (definitely old by the time I got them), and they're hilarious! It's the movies of his that suck. Or maybe he just ran out of ideas i dunno
Wait adam sandler made music?????
Crank it up fuckers
You got a knot there ...yeaaaa you better KNOT mention that again
Grew up on this. Classic.
Definitely got the Dracula voice from the goat
sup adam check my channel out ayy
adam 22 listen to my song loyalty rleon on sound cloud
👍👍👍👍👍😂😂😂😂😂🌅😂🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
To this day, I still say "aah fuck me in the goat-ass" when shit goes awry. Many people have no clue it's from an old Sandler bit...
Nothing beats this
I've got Fuckin no dukes.
Classic!
Put your dukes up. I'm like I got no fuckin dukes...
this is the funniest shit ive ever heard in my 32 years of existence
30's style boxing, put your dukes up lol
Lol. I had this on a tape.. haha.
I hate this.
What the hell happened to Adam Sandler?
He got old.
my dad told me to listen to this. i’m not complaining
I've been wanting someone to do an animation to this track...
PLEASSSSSSSSSSSSE!
5:25.... kills me everytime
loved this stuff. jerky boys too. shit. good times
Oh the Ragu Festival...lol
That’s a fucking promise, man!!
You fuck with me too and you’ll get fucked with!!!
FUCK ME IN THE GOAT ASS
Fuck!!! That thing is pointy fellas!!
Goat: Ow, fuck me in the goat ass!!!
I still say f**k me in the goat ass, and people have no clue what I'm talking about.
Why do these guys not want to hang out with the goat?? I'd steal that goat and go on adventures with him.
nipples
Adam Sandler only has 12,005 subscribers? That's odd.
Because it isn't Sandler's youtube channel, it's the youtube topic "Adam Sandler."
he’s like put your dukes up i’m like i got fuckin no dukes so man relax 😂😂😂 i remember listening to this at a very young age. maybe 7 or 8. fuckin genius/classic!!
have gooood mosh pitting!
Reminds me of my Golden Years.
I got fucking no dukes
Since i was 11 ive been asking what the fuck is wrong with Adam Sandler 😂😂😂😂
Brings me back to the summer before college. Every other day my friends and I would be listening to this.
Hey was fucking beaten me loud! 😂🤣
Goodnight....*sleeps*
When they hit him with the football kills me and I’ve listened to this for 25 years lol
"youre a regular Staubach there"
"you got a knot there....huh...a KNOT! yaaa...you better KNOT mention that again c***s*****
Put your dukes up! I'm like I got fuckin no dukes...
I cannot see you. Come closer.
Crank it up fuckers!!!
“HEY GOAT!!”
“Oh shit.”
The Goat Song from his next album What's your name? The follow up to this is great too.
I can't watch the Hotel Transylvania movies without hearing the goat whenever Dracula speaks.
Holy shit, now I have to watch those movies!
Fuckin funny as fuck stoned
Crank it up, Fuckers
"I told ya he's fuckin' passed out that fuckin' piss drunk cock......"
Legend has it he’s still on the pickup truck
I heard he just got beat again
Just fuckin yesss!!!!!
This and a fat skunk joint brings back fond memories of 7th and 8th grade..me and the homies used to get fried and laugh our balls off...good times
You guys have got to help me down. It's a three-foot fucking drop, and my legs aren't what they used to be."
Omg yes ! Yes to get so high and listen to this
Favorite track on this album along with Ode to my Car
iLoVeBaM81491 I got a peace of shit car.....
Mine too.
Ragu should sponsor a music/comedy festival called The Ragu Festival
I still quote this skit all these years later
Same here
You're a regular Roger Staubach over there! Hahahaha. That line was hilarious.
Apparently he found out some bad news that his ex wife was fuckin his BROTHER, or something,
I LOVE this skit. theres so many of the goats quotes that I use on a daily basis for the past 20+ years. FUCK ME IN THE GOAT ASS!!!
ya button hooked me
I remember this being funnier when I was 12
"you've got a big day of drinking and beating the fuck out of me tomorrow so get your rest."
I still remember that line all these years later. I'm so glad these are on youtube.
That little fat fuck gerapito last week he fucking threw a cinder block at me and chipped my fucking horn 😂😂😂😂😂
he was beatin' me loud!
Crank it up fuckers!
Was he gental
"He lives his life in a alcoholic haze" fuck yea I've stolen that line so many times to bitch about my wife's family.
hEEEEy iTs dArk I cAnnOT sEE yOU!
Basically cade
"Ouuwww! Fuck me in the goat ass!" 😂😂😂
yea man he was beatin me loud
Cam Armstrong he was screaming
"You heard th...He was beatin' me LOUD, huh?!" :D
Funny as fuq
I've been saying, "fuck me in the goat ass" for years and years every time something bad happens to me, and people I hangout with or younger people just laugh and say, "WHAT!?" and I just laugh and think back to this. Good times, man.
same here
Oh now your fucking bullshitting me now
😂😂😂 hi
_Aka Amy_. Hey
This shit is funny lol
_Aka Amy_. Yea it’s great
crank it up fuckers
Sandler could come up with some funny shit!!
Put up your dukes up I got no fucking dukes..
“Ah you button hooked me!”
"I didn't know you was going to button hook me."
At 7:01 "What's superimposed?" XD XD XD XD XD Best hilarious line ever!
I know the old man's gonna be passed out 'cause it's tax season and he gets fucking royally shit-faced, you know when he finds out he has to pay fucking money!
Real comedy!
I heard this on my kick ass Sony walkman! All these years later I am almost blackout drunk and I remember this shit......
The goat song.. Adam Sandler
https://youtu.be/Oa3QayfLsmo
I love this
I use "Fuck me in the goat ass" to this day.
They fucking super imposed me, man.
U button hooked me. I didn’t known you were gonna but on hook me! Lol
Your a good Goat !!
hes like put your dukes up and im like i got fucking no dukes old man
Why didn't the goat just chew through the rope? Plot hole!
starrychloe he says flat out that he can't even chew through the rope
At 5:35
Chris Andresen "i'll bite his fucking ear off, oh who am i kidding i cant even chew through this fucking rope" hahahahaha
Or how about that he was still untied and left off the truck. Missed opportunity.
I’ve got no fukin dukes
🔫💣
Superimposed what is superimposed fucking moron fucking moron
3:20 the laughs are priceless
I don't know why this never became a movie. Seriously
Mike G now it can be a Netflix special. This whole album could be animated.
Jenny Luna cool
@Jenny Luna that would be fucking awesome. The album is unforgettable
Adam Sandler is Funny
its like listening for the first time but better
He was fucking beating me loud uh??? lolz
My fuckin hind legs man they are cramped!! lmfao
"he always throwing rocks at me calling me stinky nuts" hilarious.
but I'll get even
Joe Garcia oh shit
He fucking fought me like thirty style boxing like putting your dukes up. I'm like I got fucking no dukes. lmao
Brandon Hicks fuck you