Adam Sandler - The Buffoon And The Valedictorian Lyrics

"And now the buffoon's date at the drive-in with the school's valedictorian."

[Valedictorian:] "I really appreciate you're asking me out.
Most people are intimidated by my high academic achievement."

[Buffoon:] "This movie sucks shit!"

[Valedictorian:] "Well, Ebel gave it thumbs up,
but Ciscel thought it was too preachy.
Anyway, I enjoyed the director's last film immensly."

[Buffoon:] "Cathleen Turner has big fuckin' tits!"

[Valedictorian:] "Yes, well, she recently had a child.
I think her maternal biology may play a role in that.
She looks fabulous for a woman her age, doesn't she?"

[Buffoon:] "I put a firecracker in a bullfrog's mouth and blew his fuckin' head off."

[Valedictorian:] "Well, in psychology we learned that it is not uncommon
for male adolescents to commit savage acts on animals as part of their maturing process."

[Buffoon:] "That girl in the fucking car in front of us, she gives everybody head."

[Valedictorian:] "Well, I guess she's strong for attention and she feels promiscuity is the only way to obtain it."

[Buffoon eating popcorn]
[Buffoon:] "This popcorn's fuckin' terrible. It tastes like someone jizzed all over it."
[Buffoon continues to eat popcorn]

[Valedictorian:] "Well the amount of semen on this popcorn is certainly disturbing.
Perhaps the staff in the refreshment stand was overcome
by the monotony of their work and decided to play a childish prank."

[Buffoon:] "I looked at my asshole in the mirror today. It blew my fuckin' mind!"

[Valedictorian:] "It's ironic that parts of one's body seems odd
and unusual because you don't see them on a day to day basis.

[Buffoon:] "My father's shit stinks up the bathroom all fuckin' day!"

[Valedictorian:] "It's puzzling why one person's fecal odor can be more overpowering than another's.
I wonder whether it is a function of the food digested or that person's internal metabolism."

[Buffoon:] "I'm gonna go get head from that fuckin' girl."
[Gets out of the car]

[Valedictorian:] "Well, I'm sorry to see the date come to such an abrubt conclusion."
[Buffoon walking away]
"I do appreciate the time you spent with me and look forward to a future rondevue."

[Buffoon:] "I like to piss in that guy's fuckin' gas tank!"

[Valedictorian:] "Bye bye! Have fun."
[Buffoon continues to walk away]

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Adam Sandler The Buffoon And The Valedictorian Comments
  1. Kelly Edwards

    Cute eh

  2. Eric Kovach

    The buffoon pissed in 36 people's gas tank

  3. Cokie907

    Oh my God, I had to stop this after the “looked at my asshole in the mirror” line. My stomach felt like I had just done 100+ sit-ups!

  4. John Goblikon is my spirit animal


  5. rhilee devine

    I am a kid 11 and laugh my butt of

  6. buggzy2oo4


  7. zeranzeran

    Adam Sandler is an unfunny jew

  8. tripface78

    omg. i haven't heard this in almost 25 yrs. My friend Dave use to quote this all the time.

  9. Kevin A

    Looking back at this and realizing that the Buffoon is just Adams attempt to sound like Beavis from Beavis and Butthead. Still funny as hell though.

  10. PlayToWin89 PlayToWin89

    This movie sucks shit

  11. Lil Bits

    This movie sucks shit.

  12. Major Atheist

    This is basically Trump and his supporters. Trump says something insanely idiotic, and his supporters find some way to make it sound not idiotic.


    Supporters: "Yes. The forests are very poorly managed."

    Smash Revino

    Major Atheist how tf u gonna bring politics into this? Leave it to YT

    Norcal06Warrior 916

    You're a fuckin idiot

  13. The Night


  14. JonnyUnderrated

    That gosh darn baffoon fella's just saying what were all gosh darn thinkin' anyways, thats why its so funny kids...the damn baff (I call him that) is just saying it as is as per usual! heheheheeeeeee

  15. George Glenn

    I'm going to get head from that Fucking girl. Lol

  16. IrishThreeFour

    Mmm popcorn

  17. Chip Doxtator

    Overcummed lmao

  18. Any Rebel

    the asshole part is the part i remember most as a kid

  19. Lucky Charmers

    Game grumps.....thankyou danny

  20. omar bernal

    I was like 15 when i first heard this on cassette.


    i took my mom's cd of it when i was 8

  21. Lyanne Nescro


  22. Tha Dood


  23. beanzy 18


  24. M???????? A???????

    I like to piss in that guy’s fuckin gas tank. Bye bye have fun😂😂😂

  25. Oliver Ham

    WTF Dan

    JessicaLovesYou 5963

    Oliver Ham tool 😍

  26. James N

    Kes turned super ugly over the years.

  27. merc detective ranger

    I stared at my ass in the mirror today...IT BLEW MY FUCKING MIND!

  28. Vance

    She sounds like Siri

  29. Kevin Johnson

    My father's shit stinks up the bathroom all fucking day!

  30. Kevin Johnson

    I looked at my asshole in the mirror today. It blew my fucking mind!

  31. Kevin Johnson

    Kathleen Turner has big fucking tits!!

  32. EmilyA1984

    Why would the guy keep eating the popcorn?

    Nick Chemist

    Extra salty?

  33. Devontae Jordan

    This ain't funny

    Nergal Jr

    Devontae Jordan then you have no sense of humor

    Smash Revino

    It’s for a different age

  34. Brent Wiggins

    That's some prank, that is, if it turned out to be only a prank.

    Smash Revino

    Brent Wiggins wtf

  35. Dan K

    "This movie sucks shit"....LOL. Great opening.


    He must be watching one of his own films.

  36. nfinn42

    For any Star Trek fans, the valedictorian is played by Jennifer Lien, who played Kes on Star Trek Voyager. :)


    aka the psycho

  37. Kevin Johnson

    This popcorn is fucking terrible. It tastes like someone jizzed all over it.


    LOL he keeps eating it too.

  38. William Nowicki

    holy shit i remember being a kid nearly pissing myself laughing so hard. love the bafoon

    Jason Basa

    my mom was just like "you don't even know what that means!" ....... which was true, I had no idea what it meant.

  39. Jon Anderson

    this fucking funny

    Benjamin Calvin

    nice grammar dumbass

  40. Jon Anderson

    I like yo piss. in that guys gas tank

    Dan Osterhout

    And that's why I'm here, just to hear that part!! LOL!!

  41. catfoosh

    game grumps

    Anything and Everything

    +catfoosh me too


    +catfoosh same here

    Channel Leporidae


    Victor Finngall

    As I was checking out my poop before I flushed it, same old thing I do every day, I noticed it was somewhat oddly shaped. As I stared even more, I found words. A little more staring and I finally understood them. It was telling me to type "Adam Sandler: The buffoon and the valedictorian (FUNNY)" into YouTube. It really did, parentheses and all. So you say Game grumps brought you here, I guess I can say the same as well. LOL.

  42. James Magiske

    The amount of semen on this popcorn is certainly disturbing.


    Right, that's what I meant--the Buffoon thought that the popcorn was covered in semen, but he just kept on eating it.  That's what I thought was disturbing.

    James N

    @EmilyA1984 Yeah in real life that would be disturbing but considering this is a comedy skit I didn't really think about it too much. What's even more strange is this guy knows what jizz tastes like. Lol

    EmilyA1984 DOES the Buffoon know what semen tastes like?

    James N

    Ignorance is bliss lol.

    Tha Dood

    Because every dude has tasted their own jizz at one time or another.

  43. Carlos Hillard

    These popcorn's fuckin' terrible!

  44. MetalPersonJ

    1:18 Jennifer Lien corpsing.

  45. Devin S

    my fathers shit stinks up the bathroom all fucking day mang

  46. Sean Standing

    "I'm going to go get head from that f#$kin girl"

  47. Kevin Johnson

    The Valedictorian was played by Jennifer Lien.

  48. sflowers539

    Funny as fuck, even 20 years later. It brings back memories of childhood, if you are in your 30's and laughed at this as a teen and now say it's stupid go check yourself, loving it was part of maturing.

    Daniel Blanke

    sflowers539 part of maturing? You’re a fucking idiot.

  49. edusuntrebor

    Sounds like... Jennifer Lien to me. If it is, I wonder how she knows Sandler.


    It is Jennifer Lien, and her sexy voice.

  50. mrbrockpeters

    Oh Silly wabbit.

    Rodney Dangerfield, George Carlin, Lenny Bruce, Steve Martin and oh, a bunch of other comic legends would have something to say about that.

  51. DVDA

    adam sandler is the original troll all internet trolls descend from.

  52. kevthemindsculptor

    this popcorn is fahkin' terrible!! it tastes like someone jizzed all over it!!! *munch munch munch*

  53. clemenza1234

    Before you were sperm.

  54. anythingwatsoever

    lol when was that?

  55. clemenza1234

    lol, my god.....this was legendary when i was in high school.